It was thus.
In trying to understand the words of Jesus by searching back, as it
were, for such thoughts and feelings in him as would account for the
words he spoke, the perception awoke that at least he could not have
meant by the will of God any such theological utterances as those
which troubled him. Next it grew plain that what he came to do, was
just to lead his life. That he should do the work, such as
recorded, and much besides, that the Father gave him to do--this was
the will of God concerning him. With this perception arose the
conviction that unto every man whom God had sent into the world, he
had given a work to do in that world. He had to lead the life God
meant him to lead. The will of God was to be found and done in the
world. In seeking a true relation to the world, would he find his
relation to God?
The time for action was come.
He rose up from the stone of his meditation, took his staff in his
hand, and went down the mountain, not knowing whither he went. And
these were some of his thoughts as he went:
'If it was the will of God who made me and her, my will shall not be
set against his. I cannot be happy, but I will bow my head and let
his waves and his billows go over me. If there is such a God, he
knows what a pain I bear. His will be done. Jesus thought it well
that his will should be done to the death. Even if there be no God,
it will be grand to be a disciple of such a man, to do as he says,
think as he thought--perhaps come to feel as he felt.
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