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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 101, August 15, 1891"


As you've 'eard me elude to afore. Fair stone-broker, not wuth 'arf
a rap,--
Knows it's all Cooper's ducks with _him_, CHARLIE; won't run to a pint
o' four 'arf,
And yet he will slate me like sugar, and give me cold beans with his
charf.
[Illustration]
Sez DANNEL--and dash his darned cheek, CHARLIE!--"Monkeys like
you"--meaning _Me_!--
"Give the latter-day Mammon his chance. Your idea of a lark or a spree
Is all Noise, Noodle-Nonsense, and Nastiness! Dives, who wants an
excuse
For exclusiveness, finds it in _you_, you contemptible coarse-cackling
goose!
"Riparian rights? That's the patter of Ahab to Naboth, of course;
But 'tis pickles like you make it plausible, louts such as you give it
force.
You make sweet Thames reaches Gehennas, the fair Norfolk Broads you
befoul;
You--_you_, who'd make Beulah a hell with your blatant Bank Holiday
howl!
"Decent property-owners abhor you; you spread your coarse feasts on
their lawns,
And 'ARRY's a hog when he feeds, and an ugly Yahoo when he yawns;
You litter, and ravage, and cock-sky; you romp like a satyr obscene,
And the noise of you rises to heaven till earth might blush red
through her green.
"You are moneyed, sometimes, and well-tailored; but come you from
Oxford or Bow,
You're a flaring offence when you lounge, and a blundering pest when
you row;
Your 'monkeyings' mar every pageant, your shindyings spoil every sport,
And there isn't an Eden on earth but's destroyed when it's 'ARRY's
resort.


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