If this don't
make him cheeky enuff to hold offis, let him pour a lot of benzine onto
his little cuzzin, then push her onto a red hot cole stove. If he can do
this and think it a joak, he will do for a cabinet offiser.
If he tries to jump over parental authority, fill him with shot, same as
_your_ man did his jumpin frog, only pour it into him with a mustick.
If you've got any regard for our nashnal caracter, don't let your son
rite comic copy for the noosepapers, after which, be so rash as to rite
a book, and have English crickets set up their darn singin, when they
catch your little _innocent abroad_.
JOHN BULL don't tickle easy, remember that. I actually believe you
couldent stir him with a hul bag full of laffin gas.
As your boy has entered the Lecture field, I shouldent be surprised if
he got up quite a _breeze_ on the roast-rum. In fact, when he opens his
mouth before an audience, look out for _squalls_.
When your offspring is big enuff to enjoy chastisin, remember the "good
little boy," and examine your son's garments to see if the lad has been
roostin onto any nitro-gleserine cans, lest the parental hand, when
brought in contact with the youth's _habeas corpus_, mite necessitate the
sweepin up of father and son's scattered remnants.
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