Among the many hobbies which he cantered on incessantly
Was one he called Protection, and he rode it quite unpleasantly;
For if any one dissented from his notions injudiciously,
He went for him immediately, ferociously and viciously,
Did this absurd equestrian who cantered on incessantly.
With which remarks the author of this brief, veracious history
Concludes his observations on the incarnated mystery
Known as an agriculturist, philosopher, and editor,
Who thought the world his debtor, and himself, of course, its creditor,
And who will surely figure on the oddest page in history.
* * * * *
THE FITTEST PLACE FOR A "PRESERVER" OF THE PEACE. A "Jam" on Broadway.
* * * * *
DR. HELMBOLD TO J.G. BENNETT, Jr. "Boo-shoo! fly."
* * * * *
[Illustration: A BRIGHT IDEA.
_Customer_. "WAITER, BRING ME SOME FROZEN CLAMS."
_Waiter (lately caught)_. "YES, SIR; WILL YOU HAVE 'EM ROASTED OR
BILED?"]
* * * * *
WORDS AND THEIR USES.
Nothing, except counting your stamps, can be more pleasant and exciting
than tracing out the origin of words by the aid of a second-hand
dictionary.
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