She seemed to realize that always
there had been dormant in her some difference from the others. She
remembered now how often she perceived things that none of them saw,
and she knew it was because of this that it had grown into a habit with
her from early childhood to suppress the expression of her thoughts,
and keep them to herself--until outwardly, at all events, she was of
the same stolid mould as her family. The dears! they could not help it.
But about one point she was determined. She would think and act for
herself in future. Aunt Clara's frown should not prohibit any book or
any action. The world should teach her what it could.
Tamara had received a solid education; now she would profit by it, and
instead of letting all her knowledge lie like a bulb in a root-house,
she would plant it and tend it, and would hope to see sweet flowers
springing forth.
"Next summer I shall be twenty-five years old," she said to herself,
"and the whole thing has been a waste."
Each time the energetic promenaders passed her chair she heard a few
words of their conversation, on hunting often, and the dogs, and the
children, Bertie's cleverness, and Muriel's chickenpox, but always the
Prince seemed interested and polite.
Presently the old man, Stephen Strong, came up and took Mrs.
Hardcastle's chair.
"May I disturb your meditations?" he said.
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