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Twain, Mark

"Tom Sawyer, Detective"

"
"Nothing of the kind! Not two in a million could
'a' done it. You are a very remarkable boy."
Then they let go and give Tom another smashing
round, and he -- well, he wouldn't 'a' sold out for a
silver mine. Then the judge says:
"But are you certain you've got this curious history
straight?"
"Perfectly, your honor. Here is Brace Dunlap --
let him deny his share of it if he wants to take the
chance; I'll engage to make him wish he hadn't said
anything...... Well, you see HE'S pretty quiet. And
his brother's pretty quiet, and them four witnesses that
lied so and got paid for it, they're pretty quiet. And
as for Uncle Silas, it ain't any use for him to put in
his oar, I wouldn't believe him under oath!"
Well, sir, that fairly made them shout; and even the
judge he let go and laughed. Tom he was just feeling
like a rainbow. When they was done laughing he
looks up at the judge and says:
"Your honor, there's a thief in this house."
"A thief?"
"Yes, sir. And he's got them twelve-thousand-
dollar di'monds on him."
By gracious, but it made a stir! Everybody went
shouting:
"Which is him? which is him? p'int him out!"
And the judge says:
"Point him out, my lad. Sheriff, you will arrest
him. Which one is it?"
Tom says:
"This late dead man here -- Jubiter Dunlap."
Then there was another thundering let-go of astonish-
ment and excitement; but Jubiter, which was astonished
enough before, was just fairly putrified with astonish-
ment this time.


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